Guest Post : Idiots’ guide to ladies footwear


Today my favorite Guest Author decides to tackle an issue which has piqued and continues to pique my interest all my married life, that of what the various variables are when women go shoe-shopping. And as is the norm with all his posts, his tongue-in-cheek humor and whimsical way of looking at life ensures that this post will be a laugh riot, at least with the readers that have a sense of humor.

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Old lady: 'HEY! I said GET outta here you lot!'

It was only when I noticed that our servant maid was wearing Dr.Scholl’s that I realized how important footwear is to the ladies. Of course, with the kind of money our servant maid makes, she can buy a pair every month. Gone are the days when shoe racks at home were for storage. Today, shoe racks are built for display.

Here are some pointers –

a. When ladies meet up, they discuss heels, flats, pumps and mules. These are not types of boys. These are types of footwear.

b. No one has just one. The only ladies I recall owning only one set of footwear or less were my daughters when they were babies, less than 6 months old. That time of course, they wore socks and mittens.

c. The average shoe store retailer will show 9 pairs before a lady makes up her mind. Don’t pity him for patiently dealing with your loved one for 1 hour. He actually has got it easy. You are going to deal with your loved one for a life time.

shoe2d. Every lady needs that extra pair of footwear. She hopes that like Cinderella, that one extra purchase will make a huge difference to her romance prospects.

e. The smart ladies try out footwear in the nearby shopping mall and then buy the same brands online at discounted prices from Jabong or Flipkart. That’s retail therapy for you.

f. The men buy footwear that they are comfortable in. The ladies buy footwear that they look good in.

shoe3g. After a tiring shopping expedition to Bata and Reliance Footprint, my wife exclaims that finding grooms for our daughters will be a lot easier than finding footwear that they are happy with. Both boys and footwear are similar. They are stamped all over by the ladies. Yet, they endure.

The elder one frets that her feet are too big. I explain to her that having Ranganathar paatham (big feet!) is considered very lucky. The younger one fancies Udayanidhi Stalin after watching ‘Idhu Kadhirvelan Kaadhal’. I don’t mind taking her to Mochi if she will get over her fancy.

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19 thoughts on “Guest Post : Idiots’ guide to ladies footwear

  1. Hahaha Though I have personally never had a love affair with shoes, I’ve seen women go in raptures at the very mention of footwear. Humourous read!

  2. I love shoes (except sharp, pointy tall heels which I don’t like!) and its slightly harder shopping for them because I look for that elusive pair that not only looks good but is also comfortable.
    I do think that a new pair of shoes will solve most or all my problems! :mrgreen:
    K agrees that my love-affair with shoes, sandals of all types has been entertaining and enlightening!!
    I also don’t wear heels which are more than 2.5 inches anymore! 😀

    • @pixie, good to hear that your love affair with footwear has been entertaining and enlightening to K, am sure most men-folk would have other bitter experiences of the same 🙂

  3. Gah! I am jealous of folks with tiny feet…mine are duck shaped flat and totally resemble a webbed feet!! I buy shoes only from Bata which usually last me only for 3 months… 😦

  4. haha love the post on ladies and their pet, shoes. They are all in very size, shape and the fetish for shoes that we have competition for sure..they are our biggest rivals since the shoes get her attention and love. Truly A shoe Affair to Remember:)

  5. lol.. i am the category who would try the footwear in mall and then order online.. i used to love the roadside footwear on b’lore as they look really fancy.. once i even picked 7 pairs as they matched my dress.. only when i realised that they didnt last for more than a week, i started relying on branded onces. I Think guest author is right to point that, we dont have just one pair, but many.. 🙂

  6. Ha ha ha. just to enlighten the author that I am also one specimen who has figured out the brand and design which looks ( hides) good on my feet and I try only its variants each time. So ,shop is fixed and designs are almost fixed. Go to ‘Metro’ that has been the best thing happened to womenkind after the sliced bread.

  7. A woman, they say, can carry a bag, but it is the shoe that carries the woman. When it comes to footwear, women are perhaps the most obsessed creatures on planet earth.

  8. Honestly, I do have only one set of feet, but at least 8-9 pairs of footwear. But yes, that’s not because I’m crazy about footwear or fashion, but because I have a crazy shopper as a husband. Yes. That’s a rare breed to find. My friends tell me that I’m lucky to have such a shopaholic for a husband. But I’m a miser when it comes to spending on dresses and footwear. I believe in spending only as much as is required to lead a normal life. I never believed in jokes about females going crazy about shopping until I got married to a man with this disorder. 😉 Indeed a humorous one. And hey, glad to note that my Ranganathar paatham (big feet!) have company. 😀

    • @Reks, as the saying goes ‘make hay while the sun shines’ in your case, ‘walk in as many different pairs of footwear as long as Vix pays for them’ 😉 and you will be surprised to know that your Ranganathar paatham have a lot of company, just that you don’t notice them too often, that’s all 😀

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