Of late one particular thing that drives me crazy are the tantrums that my three year old daughter has started throwing. From the clothes she wears to the food she eats, from the shoes she will wear to wearing woolens in the winter, almost everything she does is preceded by a tantrum and ends up with either my wife or me or both of us being completely frustrated, at our wits end and screaming at my little one.
Neither my wife or me are sure as to why she has suddenly started off with these tantrums of late. Just around a month ago, she was quite comfortable with the clothes we asked her to wear, with the food that we asked her to eat and in general with following instructions. It baffles both of us when we sit and try to figure out what has changed in the past month to encourage this obstinate behavior of hers.
At the other end of the spectrum, one thing which provides me with immense happiness is to see my daughter running around in the park, having a good time on the swing, the see-saw, the slides, and in general enjoying life. When she is around with a couple of her friends, they end up inventing little games of their own, singing rhymes and having a ball of a time the way only kids in their innocent way can. Nothing brings an immediate smile to my face other than this.
Looking at her tantrums from the perspective of the innocence of her childhood and her age (all of three years old), at times I feel that this new found obstinacy crops up from a couple of factors. Firstly, the fact that she is an only child and is pretty much the center of attraction and the apple of everybody’s eyes wherever she goes means that she gets her way almost all the time. Maybe, just maybe, this has led her to believe that ‘her way’ is the right way and that she enjoys an unalienable right to ask for what she wants and gets angry when it is not provided to her.
Secondly, it goes without saying that junk food obviously tastes better and provides instant gratification when compared to the regular healthy food that we try to feed her at home. It therefore goes that she tries to pull the screaming and crying stunt whenever she doesn’t get her quota of fried food, chocolates and ice creams. I am more than sure that her grandparents and us, her parents are more than partly responsible for tantrums at meal times.
In conclusion, I guess the solution lies somewhere with my parents, my wife and me drawing a clear cut line as to on what occasions my daughter is entitled to her opinions, likes and dislikes. Given that she is only three years old, it goes without saying that as elders we know better when it comes to food, clothes and other similar issues. We need to lay down the rules with her very clearly as to what is acceptable behavior and what is not, and not give in to her tantrums under any circumstances. I am more than sure that after a few failed attempts at trying to ‘blackmail’ us with her crying, screaming and other similar stunts, she will figure out that they are useless.
Here’s hoping for the best.
This post has been written for Project 365: A post a day where the intention is to publish at least one post a day based on the prompts provided. Today’s prompt was to think about something that drives me crazy, and then think about something that makes me happy, and then discuss about how the latter thought changes my perspective on the former.
6 thoughts on “Anger and happiness”
Hmm… Interesting. Maybe she is trying ascertain her individuality?
I remember when my frn’s daughter did this, they let her dress by herself.The results were comical, but she threw fewer tantrums esp for meals.
@pixie, well, if she wants the same dress for the entire week, and refuses to put on warm clothes especially when it is so chilly outside, then there are bound to be problems, aren’t there 🙂
Oh yea! 😀
I’m sorry… But I find her incredibly cute and I can’t help but say Awww for that! 😀
@pixie, she is cute and all that, no two ways about that 🙂 but she is one helluva irritating kid when she makes her mind to be so 😀
It’s just another phase of growing up Jai. You guys will have to make sure she knows the limits without being rude.
@Reks, she is like this only with us at home (with her parents and grandparents only). Outside home she is this little angel who everybody thinks is well behaved 😀