Guest Post : Idiots’ guide to ladies’ lipsticks


This time around my favorite guest author tackles an important topic which always flummoxes husbands and boyfriends alike, the choice of lipsticks that all the lovely women in our lives make. He provides some easy to understand and follow tips on how we can help our ‘significant others’ enjoy luscious lovely lip shades which last longer and look lovelier.

—————

One of the recent issues of BusinessWeek carried an important article that I very much want to bring to the attention of you dear readers. They have compared this season’s brands to test for which lipstick brands did not require constant touch-ups from 9 am to 5 pm. (I wish, we get Testing projects like that here in Cognizant. Everyone will want to get into Testing then.) The winner was Chanel and the worst performing brand was L’Oreal.

For those of you, who bought into brands simply because Aishwarya Rai or Katrina Kaif said – “You are worth it!” need to understand that these brand ambassadors are getting paid to sell. Never ever buy something after being impressed by an advertisement or the model endorsing it. The most cost effective way would be for you to look around and check who is wearing the most ghastly lipstick. Ask her for the brand name. Make a note to self to never buy it. Through this process of elimination, you will arrive at a shortlist of brands and shades that you can consider.

lipstick003

These tips will help.

1. ‘Fifty shades of Grey’ was written by someone who spent too much time in the lipstick counter in Health & Glow. The best thing for you to do is to spend some quality time going through the displays in the counter. When no one is looking you can even try out some of the sticks there. In fact, if you go to Shopper’s Stop, you can get your entire make up done (applying skin serum, foundation, eye shadow, eye lining etc.) free of cost at the trial counters. Don’t try it every day. They may find out.

2. It will be best if you take the guy who seeks your heart along with you. There are 70+ lipstick shades available. You will need to make use of both his hands to test the different shades. Doing it on your own skin is a risk. Further, it is also a good test of his patience. I mean, a guy who can’t spend 3 hours with you choosing a lipstick shade, has no business looking to spend a life time with you, right?

lipstick002

3. The shade that looks great in the shop will look awful when you apply it at home. Show me a girl who is happy with her lipstick brand/shade. I have not yet come across one so far.

4. Don’t be swayed by shade names like – ‘Butter Shine’, ‘Hydra Lustre’ and so on. To explain, ‘Power Star’ Srinivasan is neither a ‘Power’ nor a ‘Star’.

lipstick001

5. As we have free internet in office, use http://www.revlon.com/Revlon-Home/Interactive-Tools-Menu/Shade-Finder.aspx# to find out a suitable shade (based on your complexion) before you actually go shopping.

6. If you are really money savvy, you will choose your shade from the Revlon site, but you will buy the shade from the more economical Eyetex Dazller range.

7. Avoid using black or dark shades especially if you are in Testing. As it is, developers are scared of you.

No. I am not going to advice whether you should use a Lip Liner, Lip Gloss or Lip Color. You can’t get everything free from me. Please engage our Business Consulting team if you need a deeper study into this subject.

More than just a manic Monday


A long overdue post from my favorite guest author. However, I truly feel sad for what she had to go through on Monday evening in Bangalore –

Just another Manic Monday sang the Bangles but honestly they couldn’t have imagined it to be as manic as it was on the Monday gone by in Bangalore.

It was the wrong day to leave office at 6.00 pm (yeah yeah Monday blues and the late night calls that I thought I would take from home made me leave at 6.00) But little did I know what was in store for me.

The whole of North Bangalore was choc-a-block. There was not an inch of space. There was bumper to bumper traffic. All because there was a JDS Rally that was being held in Palace Grounds – apparently to show their strength as a party – yes yes H D DeveGowda has ways of causing problems when he isn’t in power as well!! The rally brought in 2000 buses into the city from Hassan, Tumkur and other places only to find that they couldn’t enter the city let alone park anywhere so they jammed most of the roads in Bangalore!!

My journey that started at 6:00 pm ended at 10:15 pm- travelling 12 kilometers took us 4 hours. There were times when we moved 10 meters in 10 minutes and then stayed put in one place for 20 mins! I took my call in the cab (damn! Should have just stayed in office!), the cab driver had his dinner while waiting in traffic and there were others who were playing games in the cab to entertain themselves.

Once my call was done at 9.30 and I found that we had still another 3 kilometers to head home, I got off and started walking. Luckily with all the traffic, there were tones of people all around, so walking at 9.30 wasn’t a problem. After around 40 minutes of walking, I reached home – completely drained of any energy only to realized that it was only a Monday and that there was another 4 days to go for the weekend to come by!!!

Whoever allows these rallies to be in the city and that too to be organized on a Monday (The weekdays are bad enough without any rallies!!)? Why cant these rallies be organized in Hassan or Tumkur instead?! Why should the aam aadmi bear the brunt for all this? Kumaraswamy in today’s paper says the people in urban Karnataka need to know the suffering of the rural farmers – How? by being stuck in traffic?!

JDS isn’t getting my vote – Ever.

Cheers……….Jam

Buck up or back off!


Hey folks, it’s time again for a post from my favorite guest (or is it Ghost) contributor. This time around she has her say on the sensational issue rocking India, flying Sikhisms such as ‘monkey’. Way to go gal!!!

Ok like I say I am not into this cricket mania but there is so much of it happening at the moment one cant help getting into it and when JR said that I would have an opinion on it – I realized that “yeah of course!!! I am thinking of it why not put it down together!”

Story so far – we Indians went down under (and quite literally!) not only because we played badly (I am referring to the first test where we got licked!) but also because the Aussies played with 14 people while we played with only 7.

The issue is now way beyond cricket – its now National pride, ethics on the field, sportsmanship, how to deal with deaf/blind people, racism and a lot of other issues! Bhajji is become a national hero; news channels are covering this 24/7, Indians want Bucknor to retire , Aussies want Ricky out and people are getting jingoistic!!

I love the Indian cricket team despite its inconsistent performances – I think it is good that we give it back to the cussing Aussies who now cant take it that even the Indians can sledge! We bore the brunt of most of the bad decisions but I however hope that people and the media don’t blow this whole thing out of proportion and I hope we end up continuing the series (and I also hope we thrash the aussies in all the next matches!)

Go India!

Anyway looking on the lighter side of this whole incident…

I received this SMS that read

Save Bhajji campaign : Harbhajan Singh is innocent. He just looked at Andrew Symonds and said under his breath ‘Teri maa ki’ and Andrew wrongly heard it as monkey!

And did you know of the 3 new words to now be added to the dictionary?

Ponting: (n) (adj)

A substance or entity or even a person of unquestionable integrity An act of uncivilised behaviour. [Also, pontingness (n)]

Usage: The judge was driven towards justice because he knew that the pontiff was a ponting.

Sir Bonkers said, “Don’t try to bully me. I surely can fathom the pontingness in your eyes”.

Bucknor: (n) (adj)

1. Temporary blindness leading to missing out on the obvious.

2. To be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

3. Situations leading to grave judgemental errors.

Usage: I feel bucknored by my boss; Life often throws a bucknor at you.

Benson: (n) (adj)

1. Something that legitimises a severe bucknor.

Usage: First they bucknored me and then they bensoned it! I am toast.

Also see bucknor

Cheers…………Jam

Chak De India – Movie Review


Another lovely movie review from my favorite guest contributor. Wonder when she will agree to write a post in which I can actually mention her name, but for now, she still intends to remain an anonymous contributor to Jamster’s Jams.

One would think that I am heavily into sport considering that I write this blog. But I do watch a reasonable amount of sport (thanks to my brother and my husband) and a l-o-t of movies so I guess I am eligible to write this.

Patriotism and Sport go hand in hand. That’s what Chak De India did for us. The story line is simple, predicatable but it is narrated extremely well. 16 new actors/hockey players, 1 bollywood badshah (who didn’t overact -phew!) and a real life story is all that it took. Chak De has a strong wonderfully written story line, has very real acting by Shahrukh and the girls and very clean direction by Shimit Amin.

Its not the usual Yashraj film and delightfully so – havent we all grown tired of the chiffons and the shaadis?

The movie centres around Women’s Hockey which never makes it to our newspaper headlines (Try rattling out 3 players in our present National Women’s hockey squad!). The movie deals with the Association beauraucracy, the lack of sponsors in women’s sport, the general useless attitude of people when it comes to women’s sport, the passion that lies with sport, Diversity in India, Patriotism …….

Shahrukh as Kabir Khan was labelled gaddar when he missed scoring for India. People suspect that he fixed the game and drive him out of his home. However 7 years later, he returns as coach of the Indian National Women’s Hockey team and tries to regain his life by getting the girls to the top spot in the World Championships. That’s when the story begins –
16 girls from all over the country form the team – the training they go through, their fights, their lives and how everyone’s dreams are met.

The story is ofcourse predictable (no prizes for guessing who wins the Championship) but sitting there and watching the hockey game you root all the way for the girls! There has been a lot of research on hockey that has gone into the movie and that is very evident in the movie.

Its true that one feels extremely patriotic when watching the movie – Sport and patriotism do go hand in hand. Wanting the girls win and seeing the National Flag fluttering gives you tremendous pride. If only our hockey teams would win in real life as well!

Chak De is not a Lagaan but it is nevertheless a wonderful watch and has a great feel-good factor to it. Go catch it…

Happy Independence Day!!!

My rating of Chak De India : 4/5

Well said mate, makes me wanna watch Chak De India this weekend. Watch out guys, Shah Rukh seems to be on a roll again.

Cheers…………Jamster

Crime Time


Another guest post from my all time favorite guest contributor, who sadly still wants to remain anonymous

Technology has reached new heights and so has crime.

I read this article in the ET 2 days ago where the bank account/credit card holder receives an automated call to say that a major transaction has taken place and to call back a number for further details. When calling back the number, the automated message requests the caller to enter their credit card # /bank account # for retrieving the details of the transaction and voila! the crook has all the details to withdraw money from your account.

Talk about creativity and innovative thinking! These guys are apparently called ‘vishers’- coz i think your money all goes away in one “whish”!

No matter how many times you have heard this here are a couple of do’s and don’ts.

– Never ever disclose your pin, Credit card verification value #, Credit card number, Bank account number.If it is somebody from the bank calling you, they should have these details already and shouldn’t be asking you for it.

– If you ever get such calls, it would be a great idea to call the bank/credit card company directly to verify if they wanted any information. Never disclosing any details to an incoming call would be a safe option.

Also, did you hear about the real-life spiderman who climbed apartments from the outside, got into them and burgled them? When this acrobatic burgler was finally caught, he mentioned that people in higher floors in apartments did not bother to secure their windows and it was easy to get into them. Ironically, the wallpaper on his mobilephone was, yeah you guessed it – Spiderman!

Seriously, talk about crime reaching new heights!

Cheers…………Jamster